highlikefashion

Homage: The best known and most obvious. Rip-off. As in, “Emanuel Ungaro’s ruffled homage to Yves Saint Laurent was spot-on.” See also, “Inspiration”.

Inspiration: The desperate recourse of a designer who has still not come up with any ideas two weeks before the collection is due. Off they hike thee hence to their teenage music obsession / a cinematic hero of old currently enjoying a bit of a desperate renaissance / a painting in some heavily publicised exhibition at their local museum and then copying the bejeezus out of it. As in, “Golly, that particular label really got a lot of inspiration from David Bowie this season.”

Spot-on: Good enough, but with a gratifyingly bossier ring to it.

Modern: Different from last season, even by just a little. As in, “Yves Saint Laurent’s collection with slimmed down tulip skirts was so modern.” See also “Fresh”, “Vibrant”, “Spot-on.”

Fresh: See “Modern”, but add particularly young models in the show.

Vibrant: See “Modern.” Give some extra colour, and maybe a frill.

Witty: So gimmicky even Timmy Mallett would balk at wearing it. As in, “A certain Italian label’s take this season on French coquettes, replaced with striped t-shirts, petticoates and berets, was wonderfully witty.”

Very editorial: Excellent for outre fashion shoots but utterly unwearable in the real world. As in, “So-and-so’s collection of dresses made of plastic inner tubing was so editorial. Fabulous for the mag, bollocks to consumers.”

Very commercial: Boring but will undoubtedly sell by the bucketload. As in, “A certain new York designer’s collection based on black trousers was predictably commercial.”

Daring: Unwearable, e.g., “A certain British designer’s collection of balloon clothes was excitingly daring.”

Biscuit/Putty/Sand/Taupe/Nude: Beige.

Ivory/Snow/Virginal/Oyster: White

Cherry blossom/Blush/Flush: Pink.

Cappucino: Brown.

Pop of colour: Some colour in an otherwise dull outfit, e.g. “Sharon Stone livened up her LBD with a pop of colour from her red belt.”

Fresh faces: Models who as yet have not required nasal reconstruction and/or gone out with a (possibly) reformed junkie and/or been photographed in The Sun swinging from a chandelier while visiting Nelson Mandela.

Showpiece: Something amazing that will never be sold in shops. The designer equivalent of that old high street store PR’s trick of making one good garment and sending it to magazines to be shot but never actually producing them to be sold as they would be too expensive. In other words, a teasing lure to entice us all into the shops. As in, “I really love those silver shoes that are in a certain Italian label’s advert campaign but it turns out they were just showpieces.”

Butter soft: Only ever used in regards to leather which, in my experience, tends to be smooth, not soft, although, come to think of it, butter isn’t generally described as soft either. Anyway, for no apparent reason, this refers to smooth leather.

Support: Publicity. As in, “I’m sorry we gave you a seat in the 15th row but you just don’t give us enough support” or “We’re giving you a 100% off discount card in gratitude for all the support you’ve given us.”

Dove grey: Again, an unusual choice of reference point as I always thought doves were white. But maybe fashion people are just colourblind which would, at least, explain the enduring appeal of Pucci.